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Adoption Facts

Adoption Facts | Exiled Mothers | Adoption Abuse | Unresolvable Grief | Terri's Journal | Terri's Journal Page 2 | Letters to David Part 2 | My Son David Allen's Photo Album | Recommended Books and Links

This is a web site exposing the open lies about  open adoption.  Open adoption is a myth in most cases to get the mother to surrender her baby for adoption.  It is used as a means of getting the baby at all costs.  This site will discuss how agencies, lawyers, and adopters use lies to get mothers to surrender their babies by promising open adoption initially and then cutting off contact. 
Also this site will expose adoption  lies in general because very little that is told regarding adoption by agencies, lawyers and adopters is the truth!  These lies need to be exposed in order for adoption to be abolished! 

Terri and her son David age 3 1/2 months

Don't believe agency and adopter promises that "Open Adoption" will let you see your baby.  The truth is in most cases open adoption is a myth in order to get mothers to surrender their babies in order for agencies to make more money and for adopters to obtain children. 

Once a baby is relinquished for adoption, adopters have all of the parental rights to that child and adopters hold all of the cards when it comes to parental rights.  In reality once a baby is relinquished for adoption, the natural parents loose all of their rights to have contact with their child.  In most states if the adopters never intended for the adoption to remain open in the first place, then the natural parents are out of luck!

Even well intended adopters who initially are willing to keep the adoption open will close it if they feel threatened in any way by the natural parents and by the bond the natural parent has toward the child. 

In order to keep an open adoption from closing, natural parents have to be slaves to the adopters' wishes in terms of how much contact is allowed and if there are contact visits, the adopters determine how the natural parent is to behave toward that child.  If the visit doesn't go like the adopter thinks it should, then the adopter will normally use that as a reason for closing the adoption.  If the natural parent displeases the adopters or shows love toward the child in any way, the adopters can close the adoption.  This happens in more than 80% of all open adoptions! 

It is estimated that over 80% of all "open adotions" close!  Don't be exiled from your child! 


Some of the myths that adoptees believe about themselves are that they were not wanted or loved by their natural mother.  This myth is used by adopters to attempt to create a sense of hatred toward the natural mother by the adoptee.  When adoptees are told that they were unwanted and unloved by their natural mothers, this is also a way for the adopters to gain complete loyality of the adoptee.  Also when the adoptee is told they were not loved by their natural mother, it insteals in the adoptee the need to behave in order to keep from being rejected again.  Not only are these beliefs untrue but they are very emotionally damaging. 
Mothers who lose their children to adoption are neglected by everyone.  They are deemed unfit by society to keep their children, and as soon as the child is placed with the adopters, the mother then becomes invisable. 
People should not forget that while they may choose to believe that adoption is about creating a family, this can only happen by first destroying a family that is already in place.  This destruction has many negative consequences, all overlooked because it is easier to turn a blind eye to that which causes discomfort. 
This web site is dedicated to the forgotten side of adoption.  The truth no one wants to hear, but it is time that it is heard. 
Other information regarding open adoption lies include:
Open Adoption:  The Wall (from Orgin Canada Website)
Open Adoption vs Closed Adoption
The Truth about Open Adoption

Adoption is an experience clouded in secrecy, shame and silence.  It is an experience fueled by deception and lies.
Adoption is sold to natural parents as being in the child's best interest.  There are also lies that are told to the mother of the child that she is selfish if she keeps her baby.  The adoption industry would have people believe that it is always better for a baby to be raised by a unrelated married couple than it would be for the baby to be raised by the natural mother.  Other myths are that a child is better off raised by an older person than by the young mother of the child.  Another myth is that a child is better off with wealth than with his or her own father and mother. 
All of these statements are based on sweeping generalizations regarding adoption and not reality.  These statements do not take into account the needs of the mother or the needs of the child. 


The terms "birthmothers", "birthmoms" "birthparents" "birthmother" "birthmom" "birthparent""dear birthmother" "dear birthparent" are used on this page for search engine placement ONLY.  A mother is a mother not an object meant to be used as the source of a baby for adoption.